Carrie Cotton

Just a Girl In The World Sharing The Ups and Downs of a Messy Life

I loved that song in the 80’s and I love it today. “Don’t You Forget About Me” by Simple Minds. From one of the best 80’s movies ever – The Breakfast Club.  The story of a group of misfits brought together in detention.  Proof that as different as we all are, whatever group we try to belong to – we are still the same at the core. Insecure. Messed up. Trying to fit in. Trying to be liked. Trying to be remembered for something. Just wanting to know we belong somewhere.

I am a mess today. Ruin the mascara mess. Raccoon eyes, can’t pull it together mess. Which isn’t easy when your 9 to 5 job requires you to be energetic and upbeat and enthusiastic and “happy – happy – happy”! I work in radio. I’m an announcer and it’s kinda my job to put a smile on your face, bring a laugh or two and make you feel good about your day. That’s how I see it.

But today, in between songs I was fighting the tears. All day long.  It’s hard to feel like you’re responsible for keeping other people happy.  For being the strong one.  Because some days you just want to put up your hands and say “Nope. Not today, Ask someone else because I am running on empty.”

I am so grateful for the compliments I receive about being strong, and positive, and inspiring. I am. But some days I’m not sure I deserve it or want it. I don’t want to be that anymore. I want someone to help me through the hard.

A combination of things this week has me feeling really low. Cry in the car all the way home – low. Cries out to God for help low.

I think one of the hardest things to feel is alone and forgotten.  Like what you are doing doesn’t matter or make a difference.  Like you are no longer seen.

Yes, there are days we feel invisible to the world. It’s sure not a good feeling and I’m sure I’m not alone.  Usually when I feel like this I want to run away from everything and everyone. I want to disappear. I want to hide myself from everyone before they reject me.

Am I unforgettable?

Sometimes it feels like people we are close to forget about us. Life gets busy and we make excuses. We make all kinds of promises to stay in touch, but we don’t. We think we have time. We think we have tomorrow. But we are never guaranteed.

We all want to feel like we belong. We all want to feel like we matter to someone. Let’s try to be aware of those around us so nobody ever feels like that for too long.

But I can also say – as a final thought – these days never last. They come and I allow every tear. I work through it, knowing and hoping that there are better days ahead. Sometimes our darkest thoughts are just lies and we have to push those thoughts to the side and realize they aren’t truth.  Never feel ashamed of your bad days. Never feel ashamed to cry. Never feel you can’t be sad or invisible.

There is always someone who sees you. I can promise you that.

disapperar

 

Don’t You Forget About Me

 

 

3 thoughts on “Don’t You Forget About Me

  1. Mary Beth Snelgrove says:

    Love your blog, Carrie.
    Can relate to so much of what you say.
    I won’t forget about you, and neither will He!

    Like

  2. Linda says:

    There are so many people that are so down including myself and just want a comfort zone that they just can’t find but continue to look for….there is stuff going on that is weird and crazy to other people I have talked to as well and they are all feeling out of sorts too.
    Whatever is in the air it can leave any time. Some days I just want to curl up into that ball as you do. A magic wand too would help….
    As many friends as I have sometimes I feel so alone too. Going through a HUGE Shift right now.
    Let’s get some girl time eh???
    Love what you write….Love you
    PS: Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone girl, that I know how you’re feeling

    Like

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